Spring is here and summer is not far behind. Another school year is coming to an end with summer adventures to follow and, before we know it, preparations for a new school year. Each of these transitions can create excitement and worry for kids all at the same time. And us adults are no exception to these feelings.
For parents, the happiness of our children is often a source of anxiety. The pandemic has only increased our worries about their joy and development, especially given the past two years of less-than-normal schooling. So now, more than ever, we are seeing both parents and children who are exhibiting symptoms of anxiety given the dramatic transitions and adjustments of expectations we have all endured.
Our children don’t always know their worries are anxiety. Sometimes kids just know they don’t feel well, or their tummy hurts and perhaps they have headaches. As a parent, we need to step back and determine if the child is tired, avoidant or needing additional support. Specifically, we need to find opportunities to connect with the child, to build communication and to further assess if our support is adequate and optimal for their needs.
Ways to Help Manage Your Child’s Anxiety
There are two main types of strategies that parents can implement to help their anxious children and the first is referred to as “calming” strategies. When we create a calm environment and connection with our child, they are going to talk and share their thoughts – the positive and the negatives!
Creating a family game night, regular dinner together and ensuring that distractions are kept to a minimum are all good opportunities for connection and conversation. My family likes Catan and word games (Scattergories anyone?!). It is always surprising the interesting discussions that can happen during these times of calm connectedness.
When kids don’t have the language, you may see behaviors that you are concerned about. These behaviours can include avoidance, anger outbursts or moments of frustration. As parents, we can help children to calm through connection, which leads to conversation. Calming strategies can include: sitting with them while they calm down, encouraging them to breathe in through their nose and out through their mouth, or having them walk around (inside or outside) and continue to talk to them while reassuring them they are safe and it will be ok.
When children feel calm and safe, they have the opportunity to express themselves through language. This brings us to our next main type of strategy known as “talking” strategies, which includes questions to further deepen the discussion and increase understanding for both kids and parents!
Here are some examples of talking strategy questions:
1) Tell me more about that.
2) What do you want to say to your worry?
3) What else do you know about [blank]?
Ensuring that children know that a trusted adult will listen and make them feel safe and heard is key to helping them through worry and anxiety. We are all role models for children through our interactions. Moreover, establishing patterns, comfortable situations and open conversation can support a child in learning these very same skills for their mental health.
If you wish to discuss anxiety further for yourself or your child, please do not hesitate to reach out and connect.
Happy Spring!
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